I was yo-yo dieting, trying (and failing) various exercise regimens/activities, constantly fatigued, in chronic pain, and dealing with depression. I thought, “I’m too young to feel this bad… I should try yoga again! (After dabbling at gym yoga here and there over the years.) I’m pretty sure that will address my lack of flexibility, probably enhance my mental state and general self-awareness, and (maybe if I truly enjoy it and stick with it) I’ll see physical changes, too,” which, of course, was the perceived primary driver of my seeking physical activity in the first place, but I didn’t want that to be my starting point.
That seemed to be my starter/motivator and also what undid me with every other “health journey” or exercise program/routine I’d ventured into. I quickly found the classes I took were hard and I was frustrated a lot. I decided to back off pushing myself so hard and allowed myself to explore and experience other styles of yoga and classes offered, which turned out to be the move of all moves. In doing this, I found patience and compassion for myself—two feelings I had in abundance for everyone else, but very little for myself. Now, I feel like it’s a little science experiment I get to partake in several times a week and the findings never cease to amaze me. Yoga led to the discovery of a truer version of myself—and by finding this source of authenticity, it has set me free from the laser-beam focus on the self and allowed me to truly see and experience all that is around me, untainted by my overly-critical ego.
You’ll hear it over and over around yogis, but that’s because it’s just the truth: breathing is the center of everything; it affects everything. My physical practice improved, and continues to improve, when I remember to breathe. And to think physical practice is just but a small portion of all that yoga is! There are so many times I find myself drawn back to noticing my breath in my daily life and feel its impact—crazy how something that goes largely unnoticed and taken for granted, can be altered and be so impactful in your everyday life.
